Ex junkie harry: *Staring up at the sunlight through the canopy of trees, just enjoying a quiet, lazy, Sunday afternoon, stretched out on the grass down the bottoms of the garden under the trees.* *sighing in contentment and turning onto my side to watch you a bit* This is just what I need at the end of a hectic week!
drummer csokas: *I turn my head to face you when you roll over, grinning* Well, my week may not have been hectic, but I still think this is lovely. *I look back up at the branches and sigh softly* How much longer do you think until I'm declared well enough to leave, Harry?
Ex junkie harry: *reaching out my hand, my fingers tracing across your forehead* *not answering as such, just testing your reaction* If I took you to a nightclub tomorrow... and somebody offered you something, What would you say? how would you react?
drummer csokas: *I meet your eyes, honestly not sure how I would react* I'm not sure, Harry...I think I would say no...I don't want to go back to using, don't want to wind up where I was before, but I honestly don't know.
Ex junkie harry: *smiling as our eyes meet, fingers just brushing your hair back* well, it's a good sign that you don't want to go back, sweety. really good. *soft sigh* but you understand... you can't leave until you are certain... until you're sure you won't say yes and come back. *my eyes soft in rememberance* Too many times I let myself go out, signed myself back out to the world... only to wind up back here a few months later.
drummer csokas: *I let out a frustrated sigh, closing my eyes for a moment* But what if I'm never sure, Harry? I can't honestly say how I would react to that situation unless I were in it!
Ex junkie harry: I know... I know... *trailing my hand down to rest it, palm flat, on your chest, soothing. thinking hard for a few moments* Do you think... I mean, if I asked... *taking a breath, organising my thoughts* If I asked Dr Jackso if it was okay... would you consider going outside with me... to a club, testing the waters. just to see. They do it as part of out-patients quite often, before you go completely free. I mean, you can always sign yourself out, like Viggo did... but sometimes it's best to test first. ...maybe we could take a male nurse with us, just ...see how it went. would you be up for that?
drummer csokas: We...we could do that? *I look down for a moment, then back up to you before speaking again* I think I would like that Harry...I want to know if I really could say no, want to be certain...need to be certain...
Ex junkie harry: *nodding, looking down at my hand on your chest* I did it, before I went out the last time. a couple of orderlies took me around my old cruising grounds, where I used to pick up drugs. *smiles* but I stayed with my promise to Brad. I think it'd be good for you... just to see
drummer csokas: *I nod a little* And you'll come with me?
Ex junkie harry: Of course I would. *eyes brighten* I... I went outside for a bit yesterday *smiling proudly* Let the guards let me out the front, just went for a walk. Felt... felt okay, actualy.
drummer csokas: *I smile at your words* That's wonderful to hear...you wouldn't mind coming with me though?
Ex junkie harry: *thumb softly stroking on your chest* Marton... I wouldn't _not_ do it. If you want me, then I'll be there for you.
drummer csokas: You don't have to come, Harry...I know how nervous you get...I want you there, but I can do this without you too, if you would rather not come.
Ex junkie harry: *taking a deep breath, stilling my thoughts so I can think. making a decision* I want to... for you. we'll take a male nurse along... maybe an orderly too. I'm usualy okay with crowded places... it's big open outside lonely spaces that make me feel weird
drummer csokas: You're certain you want to do that?
Ex junkie harry: *soft smile* Yes. I am.
drummer csokas: Thank you, Harry. *I roll onto my side and pull him in to a tight hug* I love you so much.
Ex junkie harry: *hugging you back, my fingers tight in your shirt back, in your hair* I love you too, Darlin. so very much. *pulling back a little to look into your eyes* you help me so much, you know that?
drummer csokas: No more so than you help me, Harry.
Ex junkie harry: *soft sweet smile, fingers brushing on your chest* I hope I help you, Marton... trully I do.
drummer csokas: You do. And I'm glad I help you as well, Harry. *I run a hand through your hair, leaning in to give you a brief chaste kiss*
Ex junkie harry: The voices... when I'm with you... they fade into the background. and then I can see everything clearer.
drummer csokas: That makes me happy, Harry, that I can help.
Ex junkie harry: *reaching my hand up to stroke your face* you're good to me. *smiling* I hope you know that... know how much I've come to completely adore you.
drummer csokas: I do. But it's not any more than I adore you, Harry.
Ex junkie harry: *shy grin* I guess that's why we get along so well then... because we help each other. we compliment each other.
drummer csokas: *grinning* Yeah, I guess it is. That and the fact that I'm head over heels in love with you.
Ex junkie harry: *blushing a little* yeah... that helps too! *light chuckle* I couldn't imagine being without you now.
drummer csokas: I don't think I could manage without you now, Harry. You mean so much to me.
Ex junkie harry: *feeling a little choked up inside* Oh Marton... *holding you close to me again, fingers soothing in your hair, on your back*
drummer csokas: *I wrap my arms around you, running one through your hair lightly, pressing a kiss to your neck* Love you so much, Harry.
Ex junkie harry: *tenderly pressing my lips to your neck* I love you, Marton. with everything I have, I love you. *rolling us over slightly, grinning down at you as I stradle you, my hands resting on your chest, stroking* And I love our quiet times together like this. just you and I. no hastles... no-one telling us what to do, what not to do. *lopsided grin* just you, me and the trees.
drummer csokas: *I grin back up at you, moving my hands to rest on your hips, stroking my fingers over your sides lightly* I love just being with you like this...away from everything else, everyone else...I can almost fool myself into thinking that we're living a normal life at times like this, Harry.
Ex junkie harry: We will do... one day. I promise. Being with you makes me want to live a normal life. *grinning a bit* I had this dream, the other day, that I was getting out of the shower in the morning... and you were there, brushing your teeth. I want that... want to be comfortable together with you like that.
drummer csokas: *I tease you gently, grinning all the while* Oh dear, you aren't getting domestic on me are you?
Ex junkie harry: *cheeks turning a touch red* maybe... *soft chuckle*
drummer csokas: *I brush a hand over your jaw lightly, lovingly* Domestic would be nice right now.
Ex junkie harry: *loving smile, my hands rubbing up your arms* Yeah... I'd like that with you. fighting over who does the dishes... *grins* who gets the remote control!
drummer csokas: *I laugh softly, returning your smile* You wouldn't stand a chance for the remote control.
Ex junkie harry: *tries to pout a little* I'd have to wrestle you for it, huh?
drummer csokas: *eyes twinkling* Yep. And then I'd make you forget all about the tv.
Ex junkie harry: Mmm... I bet you would! *light chuckle, rolling us so you're on top of me. looking up at you, the sunlight breaking through the tree canopies making it look like your hair is surrounded by golden shimmer* you're a pretty distracting guy, you know!
drummer csokas: I just bet I am. *I settle myself, resting my hands on your chest, and my chin on my hands* You're pretty distracting yourself, you know.
Ex junkie harry: Yeah? *trying to believe you* *moving my hands, fingers carding softly though your hair, pushing it back from your face*
drummer csokas: Yeah, you are, Harry. *I shift forward enough to place a soft kiss on your lips*
Ex junkie harry: *moaning a little into the kiss, my fingers now tangled up in your hair. My tongue softly entering your mouth, tracing over teeth and lips I know so well now. Only pulling back when we need to breath* I love you so much. *my voice rough, full of deep emotions*
drummer csokas: *I return the kiss, shifting a little to free my hands, moving them up to your hair, tangling them in it as we kiss. When you pull back I smile down at you, brushing knuckles over your jaw lovingly* I love you too, Harry. So very much.
junkie harry: So even if we fight over the remote control... we'll always agree on that. *turning my head slightly to nuzzle then kiss your knuckles*
drummer csokas: Always, *I murmur softly, carding the fingers of my other hand through your hair, content to stay here with you forever*
Ex junkie harry: *One hand trailing down your back, resting around your waist, holding you against me firmly. My lips still nuzzling and kissing your hand, then moving up to kiss along your jaw, my fingers soft in your hair*
drummer csokas: *I let out a soft sigh, both my hands running through your hair, over your neck with soft, barely there touches. Turning my head a little I meet your lips, brushing a kiss over them before pressing them together, tongue slipping out to run over them*
Ex junkie harry: *Can't hold back another moan, almost a whimper as I feel your hands and lips and tongue on me, pushing my tongue out between my lips as yours slips past, catching it with a swipe and capturing it between mylips, pulling my trophy back into my mouth*
drummer csokas: *I let out a soft moan, fingers tangling in your hair, pressing my tongue into your mouth, wrapping it around yours, running it over your teeth, tasting you. When I have to pull back to breathe I trail my lips down to your jaw, kissing up it to your ear*
Ex junkie harry: Marton... *softly breathing out your name, shifting beneath you a little, resting my head back on the grass, my hands moving down your back* Marton... *a little more urgency* need to stop... before I... before... *before I get so hard I can't disguise it walking back to the stables*
drummer csokas: *It takes a moment for your words to register, and another for me to still my hands a lips, biting back a frustrated moan. I don't want to stop, it's not fair, we should be able to do this if we want. Nodding a little* Ok...
Ex junkie harry: *swallowing hard, willing my body to calm down, only just managing by closing my eyes and thinking of anything but you* I'm sorry... *trailing off lamely*
drummer csokas: *I roll off you to the side, laying there, forcing myself to calm back down* I know...*sighing softly* I hate it here, Harry...I hate that I can't hold you, that I can't do anything...
Ex junkie harry: *feeling frustrated... even more so than usual. all I want is to love you like my heart desires* I know... *sitting up, my feet apart, leaning my elbows on my knees, my head in my hands* I know... *raking my fingers through my hair* I'm going to see dr Jackson as soon as I can... see if we can take you outside, see how you get on.
drummer csokas: *I sit up as well, leaning back against the tree* I'd like that...I really want to get out of here, I want to lead my own life again, not what they tell me I can or can't do.
Ex junkie harry: And I just want to be wherever you are *turning my head to look at you* And I want you fit and well and not dependant on anything... except our love.
drummer csokas: Wherever you are is good enough for me, as long as we're free to do as we like.
Ex junkie harry: we will be... just as soon as we're both ready for it. *looking up at the sky, the sunlight almost gone now* *standing up, bruhing the grass off myself a bit, turning to face you and offering you both my hands* Time to go in I think, sweety.
drummer csokas: *I nod a little, and take both your hands, standing up* Yeah, I think you're right. *small smile as I slip an arm around your waist* You want to go get some dinner?
Ex junkie harry: *my arm over your shoulder as we walk back up towards the more used parts of the garden* Yeah... let's see what suppises chef can come up with tonight! *chuckling as we walk towards the house*